The Becket List: An A-Z of First World Problems by Henry Becket

Author:Henry Becket [Becket, Henry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B08DP3VM5L
Publisher: RedDoor
Published: 2020-05-19T23:00:00+00:00

O

Officiousness

There’s a particular category of uniformed behaviour that is simply intolerable: officiousness for the sake of it. To illustrate my point, I once was stopped on a commuter train coming into London, and asked to show my ticket and my railcard. For once, for some reason, I’d not got my railcard with me – but no matter, the ticket inspector confronting me was the very man normally on duty at my home station – whom I knew well enough – and who’d actually SOLD ME THAT RAILCARD not long previously. I pointed that out to him.

No problem, obviously.

B*LLOCKS!

I was fined £10 on the spot for not having a railcard. Cheers, MATE. Oh, and thanks for the tip that I could complain in writing to the rail company, explaining the error of my ways, enclosing all manner of evidence that helped prove my innocence, and I MIGHT get a refund of my fine.

Further up the carriage, a few moments later, my man came across a group of surly teenagers – all without tickets of any kind whatsoever.

Guess what? With a slightly despairing look – combined with a hint of fear – the inspector went on his way, nothing done. Inequitable doesn’t begin to do this justice.

So here’s a little rule regarding officiousness based on several decades of observation: if you are whiteish, middle-agedish, male(ish even), middle Englandish, the chances are you will be made an example of. You have been warned.

On the other hand, if you’re a bat, or a toad, or a frog, or a newt, the official position will be to bend over backwards to care for your every need and satisfy your every whim. Think about it.

See also Officiousness

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